How a Mother's Custody Fears Led to a Family Murder Plot in American Fork

 

Fractured beauty and hidden violence, echoing the dark tale of Kathryn Restelli.

The Utah night air hung heavy on July 12, 2024, as Matthew Restelli navigated the final stretch of Interstate 15 towards American Fork. Hope, perhaps a fragile, desperate kind, flickered within him. After weeks of separation, his wife, Kathryn, had seemingly opened the door to reconciliation. She’d left their California home abruptly with their children just weeks prior, retreating to her mother’s house. The marital strain had been palpable, but now, her messages were calm, encouraging. 

She wanted him to come. She wanted to talk. The door, she assured him, would be unlocked. He parked his rental car outside the tidy suburban home on North Center Street, unaware that the unlocked door was less an invitation and more a meticulously planned entry point to his own execution. Inside, waiting in the shadows, was Kathryn’s brother, Kevin Ellis, armed with a gun. Beside him, their mother, Tracey Grist, played her part in a chilling conspiracy born not of sudden rage, but of calculated fear – Kathryn Restelli’s overwhelming terror of losing custody of her children in a California divorce court.

Matthew walked inside. Within moments, the stillness shattered. Gunshots echoed through the quiet neighborhood. By the time American Fork Police officers arrived, Matthew lay dead in the hallway. The initial scene presented a chaotic narrative: Kevin Ellis, visibly shaken, claimed self-defense. He insisted Matthew had attacked him with a knife. 

Tracey Grist, Kathryn’s mother, echoed this story in her frantic 911 call, painting a picture of a violent, unexpected intrusion by her son-in-law. Kathryn, present in the house along with the couple's young children, seemed a traumatized witness. But seasoned detectives, trained to see beyond the surface, immediately sensed discord. The pieces didn't fit. Why was a knife clutched unnaturally in Matthew’s right hand, when everyone who knew him attested he was decidedly left-handed? Why did the neighbor report hearing the shots before Tracey’s 911 call, contradicting her claim of immediate action? 

And why did the home’s front room look unusually staged – children’s toys conspicuously cleared away, the couch covered with a blanket? What appeared initially as a tragic act of self-defense quickly unraveled into a complex, premeditated family murder plot orchestrated by the woman Matthew had driven hundreds of miles to reconcile with.

The seeds of this tragedy were sown in the fracturing of Matthew and Kathryn’s marriage. Court documents and digital evidence later revealed a relationship strained to breaking point. By June 2024, Kathryn felt trapped. Fearing the outcome of a looming divorce battle in California, where the couple resided, she made a drastic decision. Without Matthew's agreement, she packed up their children and fled across state lines to her mother’s sanctuary in Utah. 

This wasn't just a physical move; it was a strategic retreat fueled by profound anxiety. Kathryn confided in her mother, Tracey Grist, and reportedly consulted a Utah divorce attorney. The advice she received crystallized her deepest fear: California law could very well force her to return the children to the state, potentially handing primary custody to Matthew while lengthy proceedings unfolded. 

The specter of losing her children, of being compelled to surrender them back to a man she claimed was verbally abusive (though there were no documented allegations of physical harm towards her or the children), became an unbearable prospect. In her mind, the legal system offered no safe escape, only a path to devastating loss.

This fear metastasized into something far darker. Instead of navigating the uncertain legal process, Kathryn, Tracey, and Kevin began plotting a permanent, horrific solution. Digital footprints left a damning trail. Tracey Grist’s internet searches, recovered by investigators, turned towards the macabre. 

She researched the infamous murder-for-hire case of Dan Markel, a Florida State University law professor killed in 2014 by hitmen hired by his former in-laws amidst a bitter custody dispute. The parallels were chilling. She looked into obtaining passports for children and crossing borders, exploring escape routes. 

Even more disturbingly, Kathryn’s own search history, days before Matthew’s arrival, included the query: "what attracts mountain lions to humans." While the exact intent remains speculative, it hinted at a morbid exploration of alternative, "accidental" ways to eliminate the problem Matthew represented.

The planning became explicit. As Kathryn later admitted in her plea agreement, Tracey Grist declared, "on more than one occasion," that she or Kevin Ellis would kill Matthew. The method was coldly practical: use a gun, then plant a knife on Matthew to "sell a story of self-defense." They meticulously planned the ruse. 

Kathryn became the lynchpin. She maintained calm, reassuring communication with Matthew as he drove from California to Utah. She fostered the illusion of reconciliation, the promise of a fresh start or at least a constructive conversation. All the while, she knew her brother waited inside her mother’s home, weapon ready. 

She placed an Apple AirTag in Matthew’s rental car, allowing the conspirators to track his progress with unnerving precision. Her final instruction, delivered as he neared American Fork, was simple and deadly: "The door is unlocked." She facilitated his walk into the ambush.

Inside the house, Tracey Grist made her own preparations. She removed the fabric screen door, ensuring nothing would impede Matthew’s entry or slow the violence to come. She covered the living room couch with a blanket – a crude but practical measure to prevent bloodstains from ruining the furniture. She cleared away children’s toys from the front room, tidying the stage for the planned violence. 

Kevin Ellis, reportedly influenced by cocaine found later in his bedroom, positioned himself. Matthew Restelli, believing he was stepping towards salvaging his family, walked through the unlocked door and into a hail of gunfire. Kevin Ellis fired multiple times. Matthew fell, mortally wounded.

Then came the staging. Following the script rehearsed in their discussions, someone – investigators believe it was likely Tracey or Kevin – placed a kitchen knife into Matthew’s right hand. It was a crucial part of the charade, meant to validate the self-defense claim Kevin would immediately voice to police. "He came at me with a knife!" Ellis would assert. 

Tracey Grist, after a delay noted by a neighbor who heard the shots first, made the 911 call, her voice laced with manufactured panic, describing her son-in-law’s alleged violent intrusion. Kathryn played her assigned role as the shocked and grieving wife. It was a performance designed to deceive law enforcement and the world.

But the performance was riddled with flaws, apparent almost immediately to the detectives who responded. The knife in Matthew’s right hand was the glaring inconsistency. Why would a left-handed man wield a weapon threateningly in his weaker hand? The autopsy delivered the definitive blow: Matthew sustained a gunshot wound to his right wrist. 

The injury would have made it physically impossible for him to grip a knife firmly in that hand before being shot, completely dismantling the self-defense narrative Kevin Ellis peddled. The unnatural positioning of the knife screamed "planted." The neighbor’s account of hearing gunshots before Tracey’s call further eroded their credibility, suggesting time was taken to stage the scene before alerting authorities. The covered couch and removed screen door, initially puzzling details, now pointed towards premeditation – actions taken in anticipation of violence and its messy aftermath. The family’s carefully constructed lie began crumbling under the weight of forensic evidence and investigative scrutiny.

Faced with overwhelming digital evidence – the AirTag tracking, the damning internet searches, the text messages revealing Kathryn’s participation in the ruse – and the physical impossibilities of their self-defense claim, the conspiracy unraveled. All three were arrested: Kathryn Restelli, Tracey Grist, and Kevin Ellis. Kevin faced the additional charges of possession of a controlled substance (cocaine) and possession of a weapon by a restricted person. 

The initial charges were severe: first-degree murder, conspiracy to commit murder, obstruction of justice, and domestic violence in the presence of a child for all three, reflecting the calculated nature of the crime and the presence of minors during the killing.

The legal path took a significant turn on July 17, 2025. Kathryn Restelli, perhaps recognizing the futility of fighting the mountain of evidence and potentially seeking a measure of self-preservation, stood before a judge and pleaded guilty. However, the charges weren't the original first-degree murder. As part of a plea deal with prosecutors, she pleaded guilty to reduced charges of second-degree murder, conspiracy to commit murder, and felony discharge of a firearm. 

In exchange, the state dropped the charges of domestic violence in the presence of a child and obstruction of justice. This deal carried a heavy condition: Kathryn Restelli had to agree to cooperate fully with the prosecution against her mother and brother. Her testimony would become a cornerstone of the case against Tracey Grist and Kevin Ellis. Crucially, the deal also stipulated that prosecutors would not pursue perjury charges against Kathryn related to statements she made during Kevin Ellis’s earlier bail hearing, statements investigators likely knew were false. 

Her sentencing, where she faces a potential term of six years to life in prison, is scheduled for September 9, 2025. Her fate now hinges partially on the value of her cooperation.

Tracey Grist and Kevin Ellis, however, face the full force of the original charges: first-degree murder, conspiracy to commit murder, obstruction of justice, and domestic violence in the presence of a child. Kevin Ellis also contends with the weapons and drug charges. Their joint jury trial is slated for January 2026. 

Kathryn Restelli’s plea and promised testimony cast a long shadow over their defense. The woman who helped lure Matthew to his death is now poised to become the star witness ensuring her mother and brother face conviction.

The murder of Matthew Restelli stands as a horrifying anomaly in the landscape of intimate partner homicide. Statistically, women killing their male partners is exceedingly rare. Global data, particularly from the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC), paints a stark picture of gendered violence. 

Their 2024 report estimated that approximately 51,000 women and girls worldwide were killed by intimate partners or other family members in 2023. This staggering figure translates to roughly 60% of all female homicide victims globally, or one woman killed by someone she knows every ten minutes. In regions like Europe and the Americas, intimate partners are the primary killers of women, responsible for 64% and 58% of domestic femicides respectively.

Conversely, men killed by intimate partners or family members represent a tiny fraction of male homicide victims globally, typically well below 10%. Men are far more likely to be killed by acquaintances, strangers, or in contexts like gang violence or armed conflict. When women do kill their male partners, the circumstances are often complex. 

While self-defense against sustained abuse is a recognized factor in some cases, others, like the Restelli murder, involve premeditation driven by extreme emotional states, perceived entrapment, or, as the evidence strongly suggests here, a calculated decision to avoid perceived catastrophic outcomes like losing child custody. Kathryn Restelli’s actions place her firmly within this rare and disturbing category. Her motive wasn't rooted in immediate self-preservation from violence, but in a desperate, pre-emptive strike against a future she viewed as intolerable – a future dictated by family court.

The case also casts an uncomfortable light on vulnerabilities often overlooked. Tracey Grist’s alleged central role as the architect or key facilitator, at 59 years old, challenges stereotypes about perpetrators of violent crime. Data from organizations like Hourglass, focusing on the abuse of older people, reveals a sobering reality. 

In the UK alone in 2024, Hourglass reported 19 women over the age of 60 were killed, constituting nearly a quarter of the year's total femicides. These cases frequently receive less media attention and policy focus, leaving older victims and perpetrators misunderstood. Tracey Grist’s recorded description of her son Kevin as "so gentle," juxtaposed with his alleged role as the triggerman, highlights the dangerous misconceptions that can shroud family violence, regardless of age.

Furthermore, the case underscores the lethal potential of non-fatal strangulation as a risk indicator, even though it wasn't alleged in this specific spousal relationship. The Femicide Census data from the UK provides crucial context: 59% of women who were eventually killed by strangulation had experienced non-fatal strangulation (NFS) at the hands of the same perpetrator prior to their deaths. 

Alarmingly, 20% of domestic abuse survivors who later died by suicide had also experienced NFS. These statistics emphasize how specific forms of violence serve as critical red flags for escalating lethality, patterns that professionals working with families desperately need to recognize.

The Restelli tragedy also forces a reckoning with how custody battles can become flashpoints for extreme violence. While the vast majority of contentious separations do not end in murder, the intense fear, anger, and sense of powerlessness surrounding child custody can be overwhelming. Kathryn Restelli’s flight to Utah and her panicked consultations reflect a parent feeling cornered by the legal system. 

Her perceived lack of viable, safe legal options – fueled by her interpretation of California law and potentially by a sense of isolation – created a psychological environment where unthinkable actions seemed like the only solution. Tracey Grist’s internet research into the Adelson case, another custody-driven murder plot, tragically illustrates how extreme solutions can be normalized or considered. While Kathryn's response was criminally monstrous, it originated in a catastrophic failure to see any path through the legal process that didn't end in her losing her children. 

This points to systemic gaps in providing accessible, trauma-informed legal support, mediation, and clear pathways for parents fleeing difficult situations without triggering automatic, devastating custody repercussions. Systems must prioritize child safety while simultaneously ensuring both parents feel heard and have access to fair process, mitigating the desperate perceptions that can fester.

Preventing future tragedies like the murder of Matthew Restelli demands multifaceted strategies grounded in understanding these complex dynamics. Frontline professionals – police officers, social workers, healthcare providers, and victim advocates – require specialized, ongoing training to recognize high-risk indicators. 

This includes identifying the profound dangers associated with non-fatal strangulation, understanding the lethal potential of obsessive custody fears and threats involving extended family networks, and recognizing patterns of coercive control that extend beyond physical violence. Models like the UK’s Institute for Addressing Strangulation (IFAS), which promotes "professional curiosity" about NFS in controlling relationships, are vital. Every instance of reported strangulation should trigger an immediate, high-risk assessment.

Support systems must also evolve to explicitly include older populations. Funding for specialized helplines like Hourglass, training for caregivers and medical professionals working with older adults to spot signs of abuse (whether as victim or perpetrator), and challenging ageist stereotypes that minimize the agency or vulnerability of older women are essential steps. The alleged role of Tracey Grist, a woman nearing 60, as a key conspirator in her son-in-law's murder, shatters assumptions and demands attention.

Crucially, improving the landscape around custody disputes is paramount. Investing in accessible, affordable, and trauma-informed family mediation services can provide a less adversarial path for separating parents. Robust legal aid ensures both parties can navigate the system fairly. 

Courts and legal professionals need training to identify cases where custody conflict escalates into high-risk situations, intervening early with appropriate safeguards and resources. The goal must be to de-escalate conflict, prioritize the child's well-being, and ensure parents feel the system offers a just resolution, not an inevitable, devastating loss.

Finally, the Restelli case demonstrates the indispensable role of digital forensics in unraveling complex crimes, especially those staged as self-defense or accidents. Kathryn’s tracking of Matthew via AirTag, Tracey’s incriminating internet searches, and the digital trail of messages planning the ruse were pivotal in dismantling their story. 

Continued investment in law enforcement's digital forensic capabilities, training, and resources is non-negotiable for solving similarly intricate cases where traditional evidence might be deliberately obscured.

The unlocked door on North Center Street led Matthew Restelli not to reconciliation, but to a family’s calculated betrayal. Kathryn Restelli’s decision to orchestrate her husband’s murder, driven by an all-consuming fear of losing her children and enabled by her mother and brother, stands as a grim aberration – a stark departure from the common patterns of gendered violence where women are overwhelmingly the victims. 

Yet, it illuminates profound and unsettling truths. It reveals how the intense pressures of child custody battles can warp judgment and foster desperation. It exposes the terrifying power of family loyalty twisted towards malevolent ends. It underscores how easily legal processes can be manipulated or perceived as insurmountable traps. And it highlights the critical, often hidden, roles that older family members can play in enabling violence.

As Tracey Grist and Kevin Ellis prepare for their January 2026 trial, their fate resting partly on the testimony of the daughter and sister who lured the victim to his death, and as Kathryn Restelli awaits a September 2025 sentencing that hinges on her cooperation, the case remains a haunting study in how love for children, fear of loss, and familial bonds can become catastrophically perverted. 

Matthew Restelli’s journey ended in a Utah hallway, a knife placed in the wrong hand by the people who should have welcomed him. His death is a permanent testament to the lethal consequences that can erupt when the fear of losing a child eclipses every moral boundary and the sanctuary of family becomes the setting for murder. The unlocked door remains a chilling symbol of trust betrayed and a life brutally extinguished by the very people who promised him hope.